6 Ways To Cope With Infertility
August 23, 2017
I can’t express enough on how much therapy has helped me. The key is finding someone you connect with and feel comfortable opening up with. I had been to a few before I found my current therapist. And let me tell you, those were horrible experiences for me! I needed someone who understood me and could help me see the bigger picture and how to cope with such a hard trial in my life. I started going once a week and would just talk and cry and talk and cry. But I always walked out feeling such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I kept our infertility a secret for over 2 years. Not even my family knew. So imagine all that was built up over time. I still see my therapist now and it is such a nice feeling to let everything out and to not feel judged from the other party. If you can’t go to a therapist then journal! I journaled my whole experience and still do. It’s very therapeutic and it’s fulfilling to go back and see how far I’ve come
*If you are in the northern Utah area and need a therapist, email me! My therapist is incredible!!*
If you don’t believe in God, then believe in something because this is the time you’ll need someone/something to lean on. I was/am constantly praying for strength and comfort and I immediately get it. I knew that God had all the power in this circumstance so why not go to him when I felt to weak.
3. A Safe Haven
For me, that meant the Temple
. A place I can go to that let go of the worldly views and stereotypes. I would go often and just sit and ponder and feel safe. If you can’t go to a temple, then make a specific park or a trail or even a restaurant your safe haven. But go there often! Your brain will start registering that this is the place you go to to feel safe and at ease and to forget your infertility for just a moment.
4. Hold Babies
This one might seem like I’m back tracking or pouring salt in the wound. But trust me! It helps! I would often crave holding a newborn in my arms or to just sit and play with a toddler. So, I would! It may have not been my baby but it filled that hunger for those few minutes. Most moms are more then happy if you ask to hold their baby (wash your hands of course hehe) or to play with their toddler for a moment. They need the break and you need the love! I had to learn that it was okay to yearn for these things and to give into those needs with a “substitute” child.
5. Be Happy For Others
I know this one may seem harder then the rest. How can you be happy for someone else when they are easily getting exactly what you’ve been praying for for years?! Easy! Because they would be happy for you. It still pricks my heart when hearing about a pregnancy but it brings me soo much happiness that they don’t have to go through this hard trial. I decided to choose that happiness over bitter because simply, it’s easier and I am happier. I want to be happy too! And it starts with being happy for others. Be happy it’s their turn, be happy they are not the 1 in 8 (would you really wish that upon them) be happy that one day they will be even happier for you!
6. Stay Busy!
When we first started our treatments I was working in a salon. I decided that if I couldn’t get pregnant right then or if we were doing a treatment too, I would put my all into my work and become the best stylist out there. Let me tell you, that’s when my clientele boomed! It was my distraction from throwing a self-pity party. Now, since I’m not at the salon, I stay busy with other things. The gym, crafting, keeping Lemmon busy, finding new places around my home. The more we sit and stew the more angry and bitter we become.
**This is personally what has helped me with Infertility. It is written in past form and present form, but I still use all 6 of these things to help me. ***